Life

Mermaids, Bats, Cakes & Crosses

WP_20140131_007

I . M A K E . M Y . O W N . T E N T A C L E S
Digging out the Happy Scrapbook yesterday, I sketched out and coloured in this doodle of a Mermaid with tentacles erupting from her chest, and am quite pleased with how it turned out.
I wanted a vivid contrast between the colours of the tentacles (Red for anger & passion, Orange for Excitement, Searching & Stimulation, Yellow for Cautiousness & Growth), and the colours of her Hair (Fuschia for Perception & Insight, Purple for Imagination & Intuition, Blue for Understanding & Acceptance and Black for Absorption)
The Monochrome Mermaid represents our sponge tendencies as we experience and learn life and our ultimate ‘Aloneness’ in doing so, her hair colours are all about fate and psychic & physical awareness & receptivity, how we learn and are affected by the things that happen to us. She is being both protected and silenced by the tentacles, which are mostly active ‘feeling’ colours rather than passive ‘receiving’ colours. Ever been severely confused about raging emotions and regretted something you said without thinking? Our own tentacles burst out at the least expected time to ‘Help’ us and are unique – made from our personal experiences on things.
Other than the ‘Deep’ stuff, I just thought it was a really cool idea 🙂

WP_20140131_014

W I T C H I N ‘ . I N . T H E . K I T C H E N

Channeling the Inner Alchemist/Witch/Teenage Goth and following [ THIS TUTORIAL ], I made these 100% organic babies with Coconut oil, Tea Tree Oil & Lime juice in the mould’s I bought months ago from LIDL. They are small enough (65mm) to each last three days for what I need them for, and there’s already been a dramatic improvement in skin condition and pain.
I can’t wait to try out different mixes with different oils and dried herbs & flowers for their different properties!
Cuppa, whilst we cackle over our Cauldron’s Ladies? 😉

WP_20140201_004

B E . M Y . C U P C A K E

Like an Endorphin-drunk chubby werewolf, the fortnight leading up to Valentine’s Day gives me a disgusting amount of the Squishy Moo-Moo Feelings & Soppiness, and it’s the same every year.
Gabrielle hasn’t been off the Laptop, Stitch’s fur is falling out in clumps from being squished too hard and there’s a general Moony-eyed happy haze floating around.
I’ve bought this Cupcake-themed Card from Home Bargains (60p ! ‘Cos you’re worth it!) for my Cupcake Wall in the Living Room, and even though I’ve toyed with sending one,  or even popping a Heart-Shaped note in the British Heart Foundation’s Window , I’ve kinda been sending Valentine’s tokens of appreciation all year to my two best Baking Guinea Pigs!
A tin of Valentine’s Cupcakes apiece seems to be a Grown-up and Yummy way forward ♥

WP_20140131_003

I’m still baking roughly once a week, and recently sent a batch of my Smartie cookies to a Friend’s Dad who’s just came out of Hospital, along with a pretty note. I love doing things like this for people who appreciate the thought 🙂

WP_20140130_006

WP_20140130_007

WP_20140201_007

L I F T . U P . T H E . R E C I E V E R . I ‘ L L . M A K E . Y O U . A . B E L I E V E R

Part of my Modelling-Shoot the other week had a bit of a Rite-of-Passage about it.
I’ve been attending Church at least once a week and become a (Protestant) Born again Christian.
I’ve “Came out” to a few trusted friends, and they’ve been extremely supportive and I’ve connected with one or two of them on a deeper level, now that we’ve recognised each other properly, and the Stigma’s are discarded. Going to Church isn’t really something you discuss in casual conversation around here – especially in the Factories. It’s something else they can try to knock you down about (Or tie you to a Stake and burn you as a Witch for) *rolls eyes*
I’ve done it for a lot of reasons, namely because I already have good Christian morals and values and want to build upon them, but also because I need the discipline, the balance, something good and inspiring to believe in and most importantly, I need to be around good people. My congregation is mostly older ladies with a few men present, and I stick out like a NEW GIRL sore thumb in my black lace and tartan, but I’m still learning even though I’m worried that I don’t know enough yet. I enjoy listening to the Hymns and the Bible Extracts, and particularly when the President takes an Extract and applies it to real life and how we mirror it. The best bit though, is the Exchanges of Peace where everyone jumps up and shakes hands with each other and says “Peace be with you!”. It’s quite something to have an army of Nana’s descend upon you to kiss your cheek and squeeze your hand affectionately and to wish you well. I look forward to it all week. Just to be appreciated and acknowledged by Strangers. No Peace Offering needed.
I’ve longed to sit in the quiet sanctity of a holy building since my early Teens – probably when I first started realising that there was something terribly *wrong* in my Family – and take comfort in the fact that I was loved already by a mighty entity. Just to sit in the quiet and not be screamed at or psychologically attacked over every tiny achievement. Was never allowed to stray on a Sunday, had to get up for my Paper Route and to then assist in making the Sunday Lunch, running any errands and to then clean up.
I haven’t seen my paternal family much since October and it’s made a considerable difference to life – I’m happier, more secure in myself and confident again. I’m not battling their constant attempts to tear me down to their level, their ignorance, selfishness & disloyalty, and their aggressive Hyena mentalities. I appreciate silence more, seek reassurance in myself rather than others and don’t feel guilty about doing my own thing anymore. I want to be a good Garment designer to my customers and to look after them properly and to do the very best I can. I want to guard myself against evil, manipulative and selfish people whilst still believing the best in them. I want to be free to love and shower my friends with my affections and to not feel guilty or ‘Overload’ in doing so. There is so much Joy in being Alive, and no more reasons to be Afraid.

These past few weeks have been filled with a quiet thing with no shape or name.
It has a primordial glitter like celestial dust.
It smells like Hope and glows like Love.
And sounds like a Butterfly growing in the Dark.

Doodles · Life

Closure

WP_20131114_001

I finally finished a Collage project the other day that I’d started last year about a very intense and very spurned affection, and why you should keep a ring of barbed wire around yourself at all times.

Text reads:

I’ve been trying to find the way to tell you that I love you all year.

Happiness is a thousand stars exploding in a glass universe when she appears to him.
He is a dense and isolated Forest in Winter and she, a black butterfly in a pleochroic box. Her kaleidoscope gently touches his ice and they become twin suns which meet as equals at Dawn and part at Dusk. Their mould only produced one complimentary pair.

Autumn’s fierce rainstorms made her wilt and fade with the waning light. She sought comfort and oblivion and sank to the bottom of every bottle she tried to escape in. He surrounded himself in cinereal clouds until he could bear it no longer and pattered out that very irst gentle word. Her rainbow flickered and sparked after being left outside too long. He took his bright key and set her free.
Trading their friendship at the instant he unlocked her. His white flames destrpyed her prison and engulfed her black butterfly wings. She disappeared with the flowers.

Silence afterwards across a desolate plane as the stormclouds rolled ahead to blanket everything in sadness. She held her heart in her mouth and banished all interest, saving her lock for his key only. He was cruel – in his selfishness and sexual arrogance, he put his key elsewhere and kissed other girls as her devoted, heart-shaped cloud decended on him. A coward is the Man who invokes a Woman’s love without acting upon it.

She burst into flames, her heart amputated, and grew long teeth and claws to bite ad scratch all who came near. Her chest an open wound that refused to heal.

A year since he left. No flowers. No Sun and No Smiles. She heals anyway – he’d have only skull-fucked and screamed at her anyway – wanting her body instead of her mind. He is undeserving of the butterflies love and the abundance in which it was given, and he was certainly too selfish to love her back. Because he neither loves himself nor allows himself to love. She wasted many tears, but will never again. She places her heart in a box guarded by thorns and snakes – secure that it will be broken no more.”

WP_20131116_003

Life

Rainbows

941289_196632893857661_731664087_n

Aloha!

Despite being knocked on my arse all day with an *extremely* upset tummy bug, I’ve managed to cut out and colour in a daft badge to cover most of the rain damage on a cupcake picture I bought a few weeks ago…

WP_20131110_002

…and designed/made a new T-shirt!
I still have a bunch of custom orders to crack on with, but there’s no way I’m touching them today and risking spraying my germs all over them, especially as some are for newborn babies and Merch Stalls >.<
I think the worse part about being Uncoupled is having to be your own Nurse when you’re Ill – Poor Twylla didn’t know what was going on when I was leaving teeth marks in the Toilet Seat at 3am, or the loud swearing this morning when I was scrubbing vomit from the bedroom carpet – Haha! I’ve never been ill on my own before :/ Tried picking up my Guitar for a bit of practice (I HATE Lazy and Poorly days!) and dropped my nice Nylon  Plectrum inside of it. Failing to get it out – I gave up >.<

WP_20131110_004

I’m in Love with my new Labels though ♥
Everytime I feel like giving up on Planet Neon Bunny, someone abroad orders a bunch of my designs and eggs it on to keep going.
I bought Jennifer a few months ago to encourage me to get more into my own Designs, and she’s coming home tomorrow after she went on loan to Becky for a College Fashion Show project last month:
(I totally got Cool Big Sister Points for this!)

kimbeck

Becky is my pierced, tattooed, artistically gifted, creative, blue-haired, 18-year-old little sister (8 years my Junior) whom I love dearly and unashamedly spoil at every opportunity. It was weird enough growing up as an Oddball in my family, but it’s even weirder having someone of the same ingredients who is exactly like you. I beg for a Painting every Christmas & Birthday, and already have several of hers up in the Flat. She’s a proper little Corker ♥

This is Jennifer:

IMAGE_034

IMAGE_035

IMAGE_032

She is bloody gorgeous! ♥ I’ve missed her, even though she’s half-naked outside my Supervision these days 😉

nakedjenny

Seeing as we’re off on a Creative Mission, I’ll finish by introducing my cartoon, prettier, more-assertive avatar “Allie” and her recent appearance in my Scrapbook:

IMAGE_019