Mermaids, Bats, Cakes & Crosses

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I . M A K E . M Y . O W N . T E N T A C L E S
Digging out the Happy Scrapbook yesterday, I sketched out and coloured in this doodle of a Mermaid with tentacles erupting from her chest, and am quite pleased with how it turned out.
I wanted a vivid contrast between the colours of the tentacles (Red for anger & passion, Orange for Excitement, Searching & Stimulation, Yellow for Cautiousness & Growth), and the colours of her Hair (Fuschia for Perception & Insight, Purple for Imagination & Intuition, Blue for Understanding & Acceptance and Black for Absorption)
The Monochrome Mermaid represents our sponge tendencies as we experience and learn life and our ultimate ‘Aloneness’ in doing so, her hair colours are all about fate and psychic & physical awareness & receptivity, how we learn and are affected by the things that happen to us. She is being both protected and silenced by the tentacles, which are mostly active ‘feeling’ colours rather than passive ‘receiving’ colours. Ever been severely confused about raging emotions and regretted something you said without thinking? Our own tentacles burst out at the least expected time to ‘Help’ us and are unique – made from our personal experiences on things.
Other than the ‘Deep’ stuff, I just thought it was a really cool idea 🙂

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W I T C H I N ‘ . I N . T H E . K I T C H E N

Channeling the Inner Alchemist/Witch/Teenage Goth and following [ THIS TUTORIAL ], I made these 100% organic babies with Coconut oil, Tea Tree Oil & Lime juice in the mould’s I bought months ago from LIDL. They are small enough (65mm) to each last three days for what I need them for, and there’s already been a dramatic improvement in skin condition and pain.
I can’t wait to try out different mixes with different oils and dried herbs & flowers for their different properties!
Cuppa, whilst we cackle over our Cauldron’s Ladies? 😉

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B E . M Y . C U P C A K E

Like an Endorphin-drunk chubby werewolf, the fortnight leading up to Valentine’s Day gives me a disgusting amount of the Squishy Moo-Moo Feelings & Soppiness, and it’s the same every year.
Gabrielle hasn’t been off the Laptop, Stitch’s fur is falling out in clumps from being squished too hard and there’s a general Moony-eyed happy haze floating around.
I’ve bought this Cupcake-themed Card from Home Bargains (60p ! ‘Cos you’re worth it!) for my Cupcake Wall in the Living Room, and even though I’ve toyed with sending one,  or even popping a Heart-Shaped note in the British Heart Foundation’s Window , I’ve kinda been sending Valentine’s tokens of appreciation all year to my two best Baking Guinea Pigs!
A tin of Valentine’s Cupcakes apiece seems to be a Grown-up and Yummy way forward ♥

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I’m still baking roughly once a week, and recently sent a batch of my Smartie cookies to a Friend’s Dad who’s just came out of Hospital, along with a pretty note. I love doing things like this for people who appreciate the thought 🙂

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L I F T . U P . T H E . R E C I E V E R . I ‘ L L . M A K E . Y O U . A . B E L I E V E R

Part of my Modelling-Shoot the other week had a bit of a Rite-of-Passage about it.
I’ve been attending Church at least once a week and become a (Protestant) Born again Christian.
I’ve “Came out” to a few trusted friends, and they’ve been extremely supportive and I’ve connected with one or two of them on a deeper level, now that we’ve recognised each other properly, and the Stigma’s are discarded. Going to Church isn’t really something you discuss in casual conversation around here – especially in the Factories. It’s something else they can try to knock you down about (Or tie you to a Stake and burn you as a Witch for) *rolls eyes*
I’ve done it for a lot of reasons, namely because I already have good Christian morals and values and want to build upon them, but also because I need the discipline, the balance, something good and inspiring to believe in and most importantly, I need to be around good people. My congregation is mostly older ladies with a few men present, and I stick out like a NEW GIRL sore thumb in my black lace and tartan, but I’m still learning even though I’m worried that I don’t know enough yet. I enjoy listening to the Hymns and the Bible Extracts, and particularly when the President takes an Extract and applies it to real life and how we mirror it. The best bit though, is the Exchanges of Peace where everyone jumps up and shakes hands with each other and says “Peace be with you!”. It’s quite something to have an army of Nana’s descend upon you to kiss your cheek and squeeze your hand affectionately and to wish you well. I look forward to it all week. Just to be appreciated and acknowledged by Strangers. No Peace Offering needed.
I’ve longed to sit in the quiet sanctity of a holy building since my early Teens – probably when I first started realising that there was something terribly *wrong* in my Family – and take comfort in the fact that I was loved already by a mighty entity. Just to sit in the quiet and not be screamed at or psychologically attacked over every tiny achievement. Was never allowed to stray on a Sunday, had to get up for my Paper Route and to then assist in making the Sunday Lunch, running any errands and to then clean up.
I haven’t seen my paternal family much since October and it’s made a considerable difference to life – I’m happier, more secure in myself and confident again. I’m not battling their constant attempts to tear me down to their level, their ignorance, selfishness & disloyalty, and their aggressive Hyena mentalities. I appreciate silence more, seek reassurance in myself rather than others and don’t feel guilty about doing my own thing anymore. I want to be a good Garment designer to my customers and to look after them properly and to do the very best I can. I want to guard myself against evil, manipulative and selfish people whilst still believing the best in them. I want to be free to love and shower my friends with my affections and to not feel guilty or ‘Overload’ in doing so. There is so much Joy in being Alive, and no more reasons to be Afraid.

These past few weeks have been filled with a quiet thing with no shape or name.
It has a primordial glitter like celestial dust.
It smells like Hope and glows like Love.
And sounds like a Butterfly growing in the Dark.

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